Glory run
The crowd roars with the beat of my heart. My stomach is a knotted mess. Blinking cameras warm behind me.Good luck man I whisper to Yohan Blake my training buddy from jamaica “ Yea man he replies in a quiet voice. I line up on number 7 and I look at my competitors. The loud speaker yells my name, Usain Bolt I fist pump the air. Let's do this. I rest my feet on the starting box and the crowd goes silent.I count down in my head.
BANG
My heart misses a beat and my body goes into overdrive . My blood is replaced by adrenaline as my legs pump up and down. I see Blake at my side and make myself go faster. I think of my grandfather who died last year. For him I think to myself; for him. My legs stretch further and my breath gets faster.10 meters from the line I start to break away.I close my eyes and go flying over the line.
1st
Hi Blake,
ReplyDeleteWell done, I like the way you have used a variety of sentences in length and structure. When I read this I felt as if I was in the moment before race too (more likely in the audience not on the starting blocks too!!) The beginning paragraph gives a real feeling of anticipation and build up. Then by having 'bang' on the line by itself is a clever way of breaking anticipation into the next paragraph of action.
I did find the font a little bit hard to read, this one is great for titles. Next time choose a font that has upper and lower case letters, it gives your eyes an easier job.
Mrs Allan
Hi Blake,
ReplyDeleteThat is one good story. Did you try to be a commentator?
I like the way you say that he go into overdrive!
Ma Te Wa
Duncan